When times get tough I reach for Jesus to give me the strength to keep going forward.
5 1/2 years ago I was given devastating news and I cried my heart out literally. I knew then that my health would never be normal again and I knew my health would get worse. Its amazing how much we all take for granted. I am only able to deal with one day at a time. Some might wonder if I would ever get used to it. No, I can't. Every day is different. I see people every day and I think of how they have no worries when eating a simple meal, to have strength to do things and to not have to worry about whether they took their medications without their life being in danger. My diseases frustrate me but I know this is my normal and I am trying my best to keep one step in front of the other.
My gastro doctor said that it seems like my stomach doesn't want to work with me anymore. I have lost more weight and no medications seem to be helping me. He mentioned that I could take a break from taking Bentyl if I thought it wasn't working. Perhaps my body has just gotten used to it. I stopped taking it for about a week but decided to restart after having excruciating pain. After discussing things over with his practicing assistant they remembered a medication that is currently an experimental drug. It has helped some people but isn't necessarily a miracle medication. I was prescribed 5 mgs of Buspirone HCL 3 times a day. He informed me that it can have a relaxing effect on stomach muscles and since my stomach wont expand, he is hoping it will relax it somewhat in order for me to be able to consume more food. I am still not able to consume more food.
I recently had an endoscopy and colonoscopy. The colonoscopy results came back normal. I am very thankful for that especially considering my uncle passed away from colon cancer during my youth. The endoscopy showed mildly abnormal mucosa was found in the gastric body and gastric antrum. The mucosa was edematous and erythematous. No ulcers but multiple biopsies were performed. I should know the results within a week or so. My doctor is wanting me to return to my old pain specialist. I told him the reason why I didn't return was because the pain specialist thought that I needed a spinal cord stimulator to relief my abdominal pain and the thought of it scared me. He mentioned that maybe he can come up with other solutions but the spinal cord stimulator just very well may be my only resort. I just might have to give in to my fear in order to get relief. It is really hard to constantly be in pain. No position feels good. Any movement like sweeping for example, I hurt really bad, sometimes to the point where I get nauseated because of the pain. I am just so sick of the pain.
We all know with diseases your teeth are exposed to a lot of acid, gum and tooth weakness, bone loss etc. I have had 2 oral surgeries within a month span. First one was because of a dead tooth. Second, was a cyst. Seems like a simple thing but what I am praying for is for the cyst not to return. I was told that if it does return and/or develops in other areas I could be facing yet another rare condition OKC, Odontogenic Keratcyst. It is basically a very destructive and rapid growth that invades the tissues and bone. In order to control the cysts a part of the jaw bone would have to be removed. I was told its not cancer but it is aggressive like cancer. Needless to say I hope and pray the cyst does not return. Certainly don't need another rare condition.
I recently saw my endocrinologist. Thyroid blood work determined that my TSH was a little low but T4 was normal. Medication was adjusted a little and will need to return in 8 weeks for recheck. My doctor is concerned that I haven't had a bone density test since I started on hydrocortisone in 2013 for my adrenal insufficiency. Unfortunately being on steroids it tends to weaken your bones. She wants me to continue taking vitamin D and start taking calcium pills. Yeah more pills.
I heard on a Christian radio station recently that there is purpose in our pain and to remind us where our hope is. This is my new life and I am not letting down. I learned from my past and I will continue learning my future. Our Lord gave me the hope I need to continue and I pray every day for his healing hands.