Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Decisions, decisions.

I am not the same anymore.  My soul is in this body I don't recognize anymore.  Its amazing how a person can change. Do you ever feel you don't even know your own body anymore?  I do...everyday... its like a plague deep within me or constantly having to use an umbrella to stop the raining falling down onto you, day in and day out.  I don't get the feeling of being hungry anymore.  Instead I get extreme nausea or abdominal pain.  Weird isn't it?

My resent visit with my gastroenterologist was interesting to say the least.  I learn something new every time I go.  I asked my doctor about me vomiting when I have a bowel movement if it was related to Gastroparesis or IBS.  He informed me that its got nothing to do with either one.  Apparently, having massive amounts of pressure and pain in my colon would cause me to have extreme nausea resulting me to vomiting.  For example, having appendicitis and a side effect would be nausea making you have urge to vomit.  The bowel movements with vomiting is becoming more of a weekly occurrence for me.  Out of all my symptoms this is the worst and the most scariest.  I always have to stress dose with hydrocortisone as a precaution.  Having my body go through that kind of stress is scary considering my adrenal insufficiency.     

Over a month ago I had botox and balloon procedure.  My doctor indicated that I could continue having the botox and balloon procedure for the rest of my life or have surgery to possibly fix my pyloric problem permanently.  Something to definitely ponder considering every time I have the botox and balloon procedure it costs $2000.00.  So far I have had 3 done already.  I made a point to bring up the subject again concerning Pyloroplasty surgery.  Needless to say he was eager to inform me some pro's and con's and also referred me to a surgeon.  Plyoroplasty is a surgery to help the stomach empty foods more easily.  My pyloric has spasms which causes me extreme pain and doesn't help my Gastroparesis by keeping food in my stomach longer due to my pyloric problem.  The surgery consist of cutting into the pyloric sphincter by making the opening bigger or possibly removing the pyloric sphincter and connecting my stomach directly to my small bowel.  He informed me that yes there could be a possibility the Pyloroplasty surgery could result in me developing what is called Dumping Syndrome.  Dumping Syndrome is basically having the food that is consumed, dump straight into my small bowel without having properly broken down by the stomach.  It could cause the pancreas excreting too much insulin at one and results in heart palpitations, sweating, fatigue, shortness of breath, dizziness, low blood pressure, diarrhea, excessive hunger, hypoglycemia and even shock.  Some patients may feel like they have run a marathon after eating.  I have an appointment in December to discuss things further with the surgeon to determine if I even want to consider this route.  I know one thing, I do not want more symptoms on my plate than I already have.  There is just so much a person can handle before it breaks them.  Even with the surgery I would still have to limit my food intake since my stomach doesn't expand.  If I decided on surgery my doctor would perform another gastric emptying test and EGG, (Electrogastrogram - stomach rhythm) at a later date to see if the surgery was successful.  If it wasn't for my stomach rhythm being normal, I would not even be considered for the Pyloroplasty surgery.  My doctor can not stress enough how my condition is so rare.  He indicated he loves going to the board meetings to discuss my case.  Hey, if it helps him come up with ideas to help me, I am all for it.  During our visit my doctor looked at my last gastric emptying test from last year and again confirmed it was pretty bad results but with the possible surgery it just might improve.  I know I have to weigh my pro's and con's, the what if's etc. but if there is a way for me to be somewhat normal I would so jump through hoops to get there.   Normal recovery time after Pyloroplasty surgery, 4 to 6 weeks.  Since my body takes twice as long to fight for flight, my recovery would most certainly be twice as long.  Surgery is one of the many extreme stresses on the body.  I would have to have IV cortisol to keep me alive. 
There are times where I beg for mercy during painful and horrible times but I also treasure life.  I am so very grateful to be alive and to see or hear from my children and the love of my life. As much as I hate parts of my life, I still love it so and want so much for my future.  I haven't shared this, but I am going to be a Grandma soon!  See, this Grandma has to stick around so I can spoil my grandchild.  Our Lord works in mysterious ways.